in honour of my old krab warrior getting so much love heres another from the tribe….
chimpanzees are the closest thing to demons in this world i am very harsh on chimpanzees considering my huge love for other apes but they are so fucking mean and they are capable of knowing better
if i got mauled by an animal and killed theres a part of me that would be able to become serene and sort of deal with it as like. law of the wild or whatever, humans are the ones out of tune
if i got mauled by a chimpanzee and killed i would be angry at the chimpanzee for being like. i dont know being able to conceptualize pain in others and still deciding to pull me apart with its huge hands until i die
if i got mauled by an orangutan i would feel absolutely no pain as my body was gently opened along inbuilt seams to release my soul like carbon dioxide from a coke can
(via bunjywunjy)
2021 house episode ideas
-house finds a patient from an idiots in cars or public freakouts video
-house treats an esports gamer girl he watches after he sees her pass out at an event and after many failed attempts at diagnosing her and near brushes with death they discover her fast reflexes are actually a symptom of a disease and theyre going to start her on a treatment but it might make her motor skills weaker. house says “I guess girls really can’t play games.”
-house treats a homeless person who claims to be an ex pop star. house believes her. everyone else thinks shes lying or crazy (taking bets). house is convinced shes GRIME100000, a singer who went missing . things keep happening to disprove this (he asks sarcastically if she’s a missing tsarina too and she claims she is but immediately has a seizure) this concerns house but he wont show it. but wilson knows. Anyway he comes into the room and hes been playing her music bc he believes her and is angry shes too crazy to prove him right and she asks to hear the next song on the album but she needs house to press the button bc her hands are numb. he presses the skip button on spotify and observes her hands as he listens to the next song, but Stares suddenly when he hears a certain lyric. He deduces from this lyric that they need to dig up her ex husband, the tech giant’s grave to see if he gave her neurosyphilis or maybe hes still alive and they have to help Titanic Musk before he dies of syphillis too. (Idk which yet. This is based off a future event)
-taub has to save someone hes having an affair with on VRchat but first they have to locate them. this is like a house x law and order episode in my mind. they have severe agoraphobia and cant go outside. house chooses a strange and possibly offensive series of avatars to communicate with. Actually they all have to be in in VR like code lyoko. its tv its never completely accurate. house learns that what he assumed was a glitch onscreen was actually a tic or seizure and he solves it
forever removing “agree to disagree” from my vocabulary now i end all my arguments with “live with what makes you comfortable but know that ultimately you’re not telling yourself the truth” and that’s on me being sick and tired <3 we’re burning bridges today
(via rosecrystal)
gaptoothsupremacy-deactivated20:
I think we’re all entitled to a little substance abuse in times of great strife
(via democraticsenator)
driving sux because you can get killed. thanks henry ford you fucking jackass.
(via hotvampireadjacent)