a fact about me is that i collect cooking videos where people do things to food that god himself could not imagine and i make people watch them with little warning
there’s a guy who my boyfriend and i are obsessed with who we call “the yorkshire chef”
in reality, he’s probably a perfectly nice person but every video he makes has the aesthetic of a snuff film and every recipe he concocts feels dreamed up by someone who has never actually eaten food before
he has a pizza recipe video that i have watched at least a dozen times and i don’t know how to describe it other than to say the end product does not involve dough, tomato sauce, or cheese
in it, he says “beef is one of the few things that actually works in a blender,” an assertion so utterly divorced from reality as i know it that hearing it made me feel like a lovecraft protagonist
i’ll include a link but ask that no one be rude or leave mean comments. please let the yorkshire chef thrive, unbothered.
also, please understand that you cannot predict a single part of this recipe and will be different by the end of it.