March 2nd, 2023 at 2:31PM

jeezypetes:

Stole a cookie from the troops but it was white chocolate macadamia (the worst cookie) so I’m still an American Patriot

A 5 foot wide metal drawer containing at least a hundred pounds of shells and rocks just fell on me and all i got was a massive bruise on my thigh…. Imagine what would have happened if I’d gone for the oatmeal raisin

3 notes #sorry jesus and mr. president#it was one of those things where you narrowly escape severe bodily harm and you just have to sit down for a minute to make sure ur actually#ok. but unfortunately my most intimidating superior was nearby and came over and was not very nice about it