Do not facebook send me funny imgur images. I will not lol
Please don’t tell me about your boring problems when we aren’t even friends. Just because I let you put your dick in me does not mean I want to hear about how little sleep you got or how shitty your TA job is
Laugh at my jokes and give me piggy-back rides
Do not call other women bitches in front of me. Why would you do that? In fact, don’t call women bitches ever. You should know better
Only buy lubricated condoms. Dear lord, why do they even make the other kind?
Don’t try to explain sports to me. I understand the rules, I just don’t care
Something needs to be done about the shorts you all wear. The baggy khaki ones with all the pockets. I hate them. This isn’t a rule, just something to think about
I am really, really smart. Smarter than you, probably. Don’t you dare forget it
Please stop bragging about how drunk you got last night/weekend. No one cares. It’s not even remotely impressive
Do not stop me in the street to tell me how beautiful I am. I know I’m beautiful. I have a mirror. Get the fuck out of my way
