(Touching your pubic hair stubble) promise you’ll stop for me :(
(via sludgebitch)
why do app game advertisements think i want to save a king from a fate that i’m sure he probably deserves
(via hatingongodot)
nohohankerotomania-deactivated2:
texting straight female friends: good morning beautiful☀️ where’s your gorgeous face ?! hope you had a wonderful sleep
texting lesbians: it’s throw bowling balls down the stairs day U better be game
texting male friends: gonna beat you to death with a pillowcase of hammers Wyd rn
(via supermariomamafucker)
Google maps loves to be like “your bus arrived 2 minutes ago” ok it didn’t though. I was here
(via podcastwizard)
with the advent of 3d printing now anyone can make their own shitty plastic doodads
People who see pics of like those fucked up deep sea fish and creatures and go “omg I’m never going swimming in the ocean again 😰😰😰” calm down. They’re 5000 feet below where you are and also i went down there and none of them even knew you. Leave them alone bitch
(via lipid)
When a woman is cold, the heavens weep
they act so serious about hiding the coke a cola recipe meanwhile its just sugar and brown
(via disgunting)
every lesbian needs a weird stoner straight guy bestie who tells you how he loves pronouns
(via hackercult)
10 year old me was like when wings sprout from my spine then you’ll see.. you’ll all see…
(via naamahdarling)
smell of chesapeake coastal pine forests when sun bakes through canopy to the earth & sand & fallen needles