- Friend: I have some sad news.,.
- Me (practicing internally): aww no, babe, did you break up with [your long distance bf that I hate with a burning passion]? Aww how are you holding up
- Friend: I'm not gonna see you guys this summer because I got an internship in [city on other side of the country where aforementioned hell bf resides]
- Me: oooooooooo..... Congrats