had a dream I was cleaning out a random house and I found like. bomb detonators and they had a phone number on them and I called it and it was this guy who’d made them and I was like hey girl pls tell me how to make these not go off I’m really scared lol and he was like for the love of god can u be normal and just hand them over and he just appeared out of nowhere and took them from me and then chucked them like 500k feet in the air and they exploded and I clapped like they were fireworks and he gave me his number for funsies this time and then left and I called him and was like hey thanks for saving my life and he was like I wish I hadn’t and hung up but then he texted me a heart emoji. then I had to keep cleaning out the house and I found trophies for like. best bomb maker years and years in a row and he showed up again and ripped them from my hands and again tossed them 500k feet in the air and they also exploded and then he was like I think u should leave u keep setting off bombs and then I woke up
(via irldothewindything)
From Le Rire, 1900.
I’ve been weaving a collection of vintage spider imagery.
Shiver in wonderment: Weblog ◆ Books ◆ Videos ◆ Music ◆ Etsy
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Anonymous asked:
my secret is that in 3rd grade my best friend and i started a religion based around Darkstalker from the wings of fire series (except he had very different abilities and was really more of a vague entity than a dragon). we both had “tokens” we used to communicate with him telepathically (i think i still have mine somewhere? it was one of those glass pebble things) and we would sacrifice blood, skin, hair, etc into the no-longer-functioning tampon dispenser (we didn’t know what it was) in one of the lesser-known bathrooms at school every week. once we took too long coming back to class and the teacher came to check on us and found two small children kneeling on the floor of a dark bathroom praying to a defunct tampon dispenser. anyway we believed darkstalker had sent a message to us saying “get [another uninvolved friend” so we made her sacrifice things too bc we were scared she would die
Victorian Christmas card, wishing you Peace, Joy, Health and Happiness. Victorians were very interested in natural history, which may explain this unique illustration. 1880. (via)
Today in bad ideas: VagiFresh Kegel Gum, The Gum You Chew With Your Vagina™
tragic love story idea: in a world where we have just engineered the technology to create a robot capable of feelings, a robot with feelings falls for another older-model robot that’s incapable of love