if the loch ness monster is ever proven to be real i’m throwing a huge party and im gonna get Fucked Up
(via iwilleatyourenglish)
Anonymous asked: hey can you give me some tips about flirting with other girls because i'm bad at this shit
sure! the way i flirt with girls is:
- sweat profusely
- avoid eye contact at all costs, cute girls work kinda like the basilisk
- realize half way through encounter that uve forgotten to breathe this entire time and gasp for breath so u dont die
- give weirdly detailed compliments like “wow your eye lashes accentuate how kind you look when you smile”
- think a lot about how ur brains feel like spaghetti
- leave immediately. go home and lie on your bed for the next 7 hours groaning about how bad you are at flirting with girls
you: why are you drinking an entire bottle of wine ??
me:
me:
me:
me: wine not …
me: reads you the wrong horoscope
you: omg that is so me!
me: :)
(via degenerate-perturbation)
i refuse to eat healthy. for every moment that i am trapped within this flesh prison i will punish it for its very existence
(via kroove)
yo for real FUCK HOMESTUCK…..imma still read it, imma still read it tho