i want to meet michael jordan and just say “wow omg i loved you in space jam” and thats it
**holds up a bag of goldfish crackers* i want you… inside of me
“money cant buy happiness” i think you’re using money wrong
here let me show you how it’s done just hand it over
(via blessphemy)
“welcome to tumblr we accept everyone!!!”
ok sweet
“unless you’re white, cisgned, or a turtle. fuck turtles”
i sadly crawl inwards to my dark green shell, creating slow, salty tears
i should be sleeping but the meaning of stonehenge just keeps me up at night u feel me
All I need is my melons, a longboard and some lube then I’m good to go
it has been one of my greatest dreams to beat the living shit out of something at least once so god fucking help anybody that ever tries to assault me because i will be brimming with every violent urge that i have ever tucked away in my entire life
(via funeral-gnome)
This is how I imagine my college is using my tuition money.