i find it interesting that when it comes to liking girls I’m just like GIRLS ALL GIRLS YES PERFECT GIRLS but with boys i’m like you must fit criteria 1-9 but 9 is optional only if you completely fill criteria 10-13 with a non-optional essay on 21st century sexism due by 5am
#I fall in love with random girls all over the place #but then my friend will be like ‘look how hot that guy is!’ #and I’ll be like yes but what are his political affiliations
i get anxious for people who fall asleep on public transit. like where is your home? how many stops have you missed? this was not a time for a nap
as a person who falls asleep on public transit i can assure you I know exactly what I’m doing and all is well
(via blessphemy)
just wish people would notice me for something other than my blood soaked overalls and huge knife
my role at family functions is to look the best and to drink the wine
(via 061119920735)
i cant wait to be a rich and morally questionable ceo so i can have a shark tank in my penthouse office
Anonymous asked: are there any animals that you hate?
children
I can’t help but shed a tear for this poor child. This happened to me too.
same
12oz blunt a day? bitch be smoking mad weed jfc
Chronicking the pot
i’m getting my life in order
*makes my bed* good enough
i live for three things: sucking dick, people’s war, and king of the hill
Anonymous asked: have you ever thought of someone else when kissing someone
Ya everytime a boy is slobbering in my mouth im like “why isnt this aubrey plaza instead?”
Anonymous asked: d-d-damn bruh ya'll sexy as hell but put some clothes on yoooo
i will never cover my body. it’s a shit meme and i refuse to participate