bitchinreptilian
asked:
I have the most momentous question that I have had for years upon years; Why is the second-wave feminism group so obsessed with not keeping anything to themselves? If someone is gay, then they can't be gay to just themselves - they need to let their parents know? If a girl decides she wants to be a boy then he needs to tell everybody instead of just going out and DOING that shit? People having to admit to feminism? Maybe I'm stupid for asking, but, but honestly haven't got an answer yet.
ulibeanz
answered:

hate 2 break it 2 ya but we’ve already wizzed passed 2nd wave feminism! welcome to intersectional feminism, where cultural patterns of oppression are bound together, support is communal,  and we all think critically about how factors such a class race sexuality ability and more influence our understanding and, yes, privilege! (see: the exquisite Kimberlé Williams Crenshaw)

sure its fine, dandy, and oh-so stylishly uncomplicated to simplify matters into “just do it” but isn’t funny that all your examples are of marginalized people? why is that? it really illustrates the fact that straight people and cis people  (and white people and men and able people, etc, etc) don’t have to think about it in our society — that’s the magic of privilege. they can continue to go about their lives without ever having to stop and announce their straightness and cisness because it is considered the “default.” this is a part of the problem as well, since it implies that those who do not fit into these rigid inflexible tiny molds are abnormal, and as such it is expected that they conform to the ideals rules and customs of those who dominate. 

the idea you are stuck on, friend, is one of assimilation, which we’re taught is great! the big “melting pot” right? where minorities try their best to blend into a system that was built to harm them. in sociology we learn that in patterns of interaction, assimilation is NOT at the top of the ladder. it comes above genocide and segregation, but it is toxic and erasing all the same. pluralism, a system in which differences in people are intermingled and admired, is a great word, and happens to be the top rung on the ladder!

when one is forced to keep aspects of themselves hidden and secret, like, for example, gayness in a heteronormative society, one begins to feel deviant, wrong, sick, monstrous, etc, just for being gay. it leads to alienation and self loathing on their part. it leads to a lack of understanding and awareness in society, and then the justification of hate crimes and sexual violence on the oppressor’s part.

it is natural and healthy to share with others. this is how humans apes and all other animals operate. we communicate. we talk about it. we hope to god that someone cares to listen. often, it isnt until youve been accepted for who you are, what you do, and found a community where this is celebrated (not ignored) that we can truly feel free!

hope this was an ok answer for you! have a good night