some type of adult girl

ulibeanz:

these are the messages that hurt me the most because theyre wrapped up in tenderness and good intentions but are lethally poisoned. it was logic like this said from friends and family that led me to an eating disorder growing up, lead me to hospitalization for related heart problems because i wasnt eating, being unable to conceive because i was so young when messages like these got to me, several suicide attempts, etc. the thinnest i ever was was also the most unhealthy i have ever been. sadly it was also the time i was complimented most

you cannot determine a person’s health by looking at their body. point blank. when most of my friends and family told me how “healthy” i looked from the weight loss, i was fainting, vomiting, shaking, having heart complications and my hair fall out. and all i was getting was positive feedback. let me reiterate that thinness =/= health by any means and EVEN IF IT DID, another person’s health isn’t any of your business anyway! to treat ill people like they are vermin is inherent ableism. to deny someone respect because of illness or disability or “unhealthiness” is ableism 

not that i have to defend my lifestyle for my point to be valid, because it is my lifestyle my body and my choices which do not affect anyone else whatsoever, but i am a fit motherfucker!! i bike 5 miles literally every day to get to work, then i work on my feet, running around for 8 hour shifts. i eat a balanced diet and drink  3 liters of water every day. i take vitamins every morning and meditate every night. i dont smoke, i don’t drink often, i don’t do drugs. i am the happiest i have ever been, i have overcome huge debilitations related to my anxiety disorder and depression and i love myself freely and fully. my doctors say i am their favorite patient because i am living exactly how they tell me i should and with a positive outlook to boot. how is this not healthy enough? because there is fat on my body??? no offense, but i will take my doctor’s words over a stranger’s on the internet’s when it comes to my health. 

here’s the rule: unless you are their personal medical practitioner, don’t give medical advice! it is unwanted, unwarranted, and crossing boundaries.  this particular instance is a great example of why it’s NOT okay because since i am a stranger you had no idea what my background was like;  you didn’t know where i’ve been and you didn’t know that i struggled with an eating disorder for years. you simply do not know how words will affect someone. if i had gotten this message a year ago i can 100 percent guarantee i would have relapsed, and that is scary to think about. 

luckily, i have grown to accept the validity of my body. i have learned to stop quantifying my existence. i’ve learned that other people’s invasive opinions on my body have nothing to to with me, and everything to do with them. i’ve learned to let go and live and i have NEVER been healthier because of it.

please no one send this person mean asks. im not answering this publicly to drag her, i am just explaining why i wont accept messages like these in the future, and why they are fundamentally wrong. i get so many and while it may seem the noble thing to do, it is not. it’s rude and damaging and presumptuous. have a nice day everyone and pet a bunch of pups for me!!