a simplified guide to sexualities
- homosexual: sexually attracted to homer simpson
- pansexual: gets off to various kitchen utensils
- asexual: gets turned on by the first letter of the latin alphabet
- demisexual: sexually attracted to you if and only if your blood is half divine
- bisexual: can only have sex with two people ever. choose wisely
- heterosexual: can only be satisfied by macklemore
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