Having now seen The Desolation of Smaug I am confident in saying that the primary conflict in the movie is my internal struggle watching it as I tried to figure out who the fuck the guy playing Bard is:

Orlando Bloom?

No, no.  Orlando Bloom is already in this movie in a blonde wig.

Yeah but I mean look at him.

No I totally get you.  Very Will Turner plus ten to fifteen years.

Do you think Peter Jackson is fucking with us and cast the same actor in two different parts with different hair and makeup?

Are we watching the same fucking movie of COURSE it’s possible.  Christ, ANYTHING is seemingly possible in this mess.