connor, supportive: so does this mean kendall is coming out to us?

roman: oh yeah let’s celebrate kendall’s dick finally falling off from all the coke and now he can apparently only fuck other weird-looking lesbians.

connor: there’s nothing wrong with being a weird-looking lesbian. in fact, some forecasters are saying that after the climate collapse—

shiv: okay but they’re obviously not a lesbian if they’re dating kendall. right? it’s very possible to be non-binary and also attracted to men.

roman: oh fuck off with your little love is love pussy-eating hats whatever the fuck. did you learn that from rupaul?

shiv: rupaul? seriously? is that the one gay person you can think of? rupaul?

roman: i can think of another. your husband.

tom, laughing uncomfortably: sorry to disappoint, roman, but i am in deep unquenchable lust for my wife, who happens to be a beautiful woman.

(after an awkward silence, jokingly) but i do identify as ‘metrosexual,’ right, kendall?

kendall, extremely high: what the fuck are you guys even fucking talking about

greg, making conversation w kendall’s date in the corner of the room: so um. i presume you, like, are familiar with the, um, music of the… boys genius, as they are known?