“He doesn’t love me, that’s for sure. You can project human qualities onto these things until they bite your ass cheek. He bit my ass cheek. Middle of the night, wife asleep in the bed, I bend over to pick something up, and he bites me right on the ass. He’s very dangerous if he doesn’t get his way. If you aren’t accommodating his wishes, he can screech you right into the ground. He won’t go in his cage. Our entire apartment is filled with driftwood from the Hudson. He likes to sit on the driftwood when he watches TV. He’ll take food off our plates. If anyone is talking, he has to be there. He wants to be part of everything. And the worst part is they won’t die. They live to be 80 or 100. You know the saying: ‘This too shall pass’? Not the umbrella cockatoo. This too, shall not pass. There’s no hope. That’s the horror of it. I told this to a nine-year old girl in the park. This girl was a genius. She says: ‘You’ll never have to say goodbye. You have an infinite pet.’ It was the darkest thing I’ve ever heard.”
(via todaysbird)
pescegos liked this 
fancied-another-meme liked this the-weather-report-lied liked this
mmari-draws reblogged this from memento-mariii 
memento-mariii reblogged this from moonsun2010 - memento-mariii liked this
moonsun2010 reblogged this from sketchywasteland
woodelf68 reblogged this from rywen and added: I thought they were talking about a person biting them in the ass until I read further on, and was Concerned.
casualchancers liked this
rywen reblogged this from heartfucksmouth
songstryss reblogged this from strawbebbynya
calitony reblogged this from severedned - calitony liked this
severedned reblogged this from juxtartpose
tadspool reblogged this from plum-soup
divagatingpalaver reblogged this from humansofnewyork kemonoclaw liked this
sextant reblogged this from todaysbird
cottonneko reblogged this from unseeliefaerie 
baezel2 liked this 
catholicwave reblogged this from bpdtomwambsgans 
beetary liked this fearthefae reblogged this from oracleofplants
mysortofstar liked this
historyofbells liked this
three-muppets-in-a-trenchcoat liked this
jesusshookthewheel reblogged this from he-needs-more-whiskey 
loftwingsuarus liked this he-needs-more-whiskey liked this
comrade-toad reblogged this from badshah-cornelius
hanitje reblogged this from nightlocktime 
yoshiisabelovedbastard reblogged this from shabby-blog - yoshiisabelovedbastard liked this
shabby-blog reblogged this from bullshit-reblogs
bathroom-spiders reblogged this from liiyre
thatoneblogthere liked this
badshah-cornelius reblogged this from dat-soldier
arendelve liked this
inmyheadimreallytall liked this
gonegirldiscourse reblogged this from williamfbuckley
theacedragon reblogged this from strawbebbynya
ladyjazzhands liked this
humansofnewyork posted this
“He doesn’t love me, that’s for sure. You can project human qualities onto these things until they bite your ass cheek....
- Show more notes