roommate called me down to grab a weird bug by the garage and it turned out to be a strawberry root weevil wrapped in a spiderweb but with perfect little arm holes for his limbs

it took me a solid half hour of extremely delicately working the fibers loose with a pair of pointed tweezers so i could pull the last of it up over his head just like a tiny shirt

no limbs or antennae were lost in the process and he's been safely released outside but i laughed myself into a coughing fit over it so the encounter wasn't without casualties

you know what? fuck you. *scruffs you like a cat with the back of ur shirt*