First person: What’s the most pettiest thing you’ve taken from your ex after y’all break up? I’ll go first -

Second person: Many years ago, just a few days before Christmas, um, my ex informed me that he was no longer happy. He was seeing someone else and, um, he just wanted to move on with his life. And he suggested I move out after the holidays because, you know, it was his house, and I understood that.

I left that same day. I called my sister, she brought a U-Haul, and we got my stuff out of there. But when I say my stuff, I meant my stuff. I took everything. He had nothing when I got there, I left him with nothing. And to top it off… I took the damn Christmas tree. Yes I did. Tied it to the top of my car, ornaments and all. I was riding down the highway, ornaments falling off. I felt like the Grinch. It was exhilarating. Ho ho ho you mother- I can’t say that.