Welcome to The House of Fun: flipspring: terriblebuttsex: IM FUCKING CRYING LIKE DID YOU SEE THAT...
IM FUCKING CRYING LIKE DID YOU SEE THAT THING THAT WAS LIKE ONLY 3 IN 10 BRITISH CHILDREN HAVE SEEN A FUCKING FUCKING HONEYBEE IN THE WILD LIKE
OOOOOOOOOOH THE HUMANITY THINK ABOUT ALL THE POOR LIL KIDS THAT NEVER HAD TO ESXPERIENCE THE HORROR OF…
YOU’RE THINKING OF BUMBLEBEES MAN!! THE LEAST HORRIFIC OF THE BEE FAMILY!! HONEY BEES ARE LIKE FURRY YELLOWJACKETS!! THEY CARE FOR NOTHING IN THIS WORLD EXCEPT THE PRODUCTION OF THEIR PRECIOUS HONEY!! YOU KNOW WHAT HONEY IS MADE FROM CASSIDY?? THE BLOOD OF INNOCENTS
MOLLY WE WOULD DIE WITHOUT THE BEES OK YOU NEED TO JUST ACCEPT THAT. THEIR METHODS MAY BE CRUEL BUT WE NEED THEM TO SURVIVE OK THNX.
Let us cast our minds back through the misty curtains of time. The year is 500 BC, and a tiny village nestles into the folds of a mountain like a wee baby in the bosom of its loving mother. Yet the village lore tells of a time when the mountain was not so sweetly maternal, a time when the dark gods who lived at the mountains core rained the village with magma and ash, destroying nearly everything. Ever since, on the night of the summer solstice, a beautiful virgin is tossed into the volcano to appease the gods within. For many generations, no one questioned the practice. Even the sacrificial virgins accepted their role with grace. Yet, as they always do, the convictions that supported the tradition began to wane. One year, the selected virgin did not choose to surrender gracefully to the bubbling arms of the volcano. Instead, she slipped away from her guards and ran– ran until she reached the home of the village elder, the most powerful woman on the mountain. Her name was Cassidy.
“Please, Cassidy,” cried the virgin. “Why must I be sacrificed?”
“It is the will of the gods,” said Cassidy sagely, her wrinkled jowls quivering as she spoke.
“But why do the gods demand such a terrible thing?” the virgin asked.
“THEIR METHODS MAY BE CRUEL BUT WE NEED THEM TO SURVIVE OK THNX,” replied the wise elder.
Sobbing, the beautiful virgin was dragged away to her doom. But at least Cassidy and her village of despicable cowards clung to the mountain for another fuzzy, black and yellow year.
Is this the kind of world you want to live in? Is this the kind of world………….. any of us want to live in?