some type of adult girl

jerkstorecalling:

jerkstorecalling:

rubynrags:

jerkstorecalling:

pymparticles:

jerkstorecalling:

“Everyone’s had tuna tartare before.”

This is the least relatable and most infuriating cooking video I’ve seen to date.

I love how out of nowhere he casually drops that one of the ingredients in the dish takes a fucking WEEK to prepare.

First, pop your tuna steaks, bowl, and meat grinder in your Samsung Smart Freezer for ten minutes.

That gives us enough time to blend these vegetables together and let it ferment for ten days.

When your ten minutes and ten days have simultaneously passed, we’re ready to grind and combine. But you know this. Everyone’s had tuna tartare before.

Now, you’re going to take your gold leaf and marinate that in about 3 gallons of Rose for at least 75 hours. This is a crucial part of tuna tartare, as you know.
You can put your tartare back in the freezer, but for no more than ten minutes at a time. I like to get my butler, Chauncey, to stand watch of the tuna and make sure it goes for a walk in our greenhouse every 3 hours. 
Next, grab your toast. I like to get mine fresh from Morocco, so you’re gonna have to book a flight at least 7 weeks in advance from this dish.

I like to make my friends WATCH the fish go through the grinder. A party isn’t a party until my friends watch me grind fish meat

This still pisses me off a full 24 hours later and I’m glad others share my ire

My fave part is how he casually drops in the fact that you’re supposed to “smoke” the olive oil for 10 minutes (???) and then specifies that u have to lift the tuna bread off of one plate in order to put it on a different plate