some type of adult girl

tehzii:

thelibrawrian:

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story.

a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?”

“uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.”

“ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?”

i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?”

to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-”

i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.

When I was working at a hospital front desk (mostly transferring them to talk to patients or tell them their room number), a guy called to ask how contagious pinkeye was was. He asked to be transferred to the ER to talk to a doctor, which I technically should have done, but I didn’t want to bother them with something so dumb. This guy had apparently been diagnosed with pinkeye a few days before but there was a party he REALLY wanted to go to. I ended up telling him, “I’m not a doctor, I’m 16, but I guess if you really want to it’s fine, just like don’t touch anybody.” He was delighted.

I still think about this sometimes and wonder how many people I inadvertently gave pinkeye to by giving this dumbass permission to attend attend a party

(via notpietromaximoff)