the most lynchian items from my local police blotter
A large statue was stolen.
A resident worried that a noisy hawk in a tree was in distress. When authorities arrived, the hawk was quiet and enjoying dinner.
A man was reported to be lying on the ground, possibly writing.
A person reported a man tried to hide his face, then turned and walked away.
Fruit has been disappearing from a tree.
Loud birds were reported. Police responded and settled the situation.
A resident reported two people came to the door seeking someone who spoke French.
A resident reported a large light in the sky. It was the moon.