the most lynchian items from my local police blotter

nicola-blank:

A large statue was stolen.


A resident worried that a noisy hawk in a tree was in distress. When authorities arrived, the hawk was quiet and enjoying dinner.


A man was reported to be lying on the ground, possibly writing.


A person reported a man tried to hide his face, then turned and walked away.


Fruit has been disappearing from a tree.


Loud birds were reported. Police responded and settled the situation.


A resident reported two people came to the door seeking someone who spoke French.


A resident reported a large light in the sky. It was the moon.

(via madameneurosis)

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