if you’re a straight woman joking about the fragility of straight men’s sexual confidence and their need to constantly reaffirm their heterosexuality, consider this:

are you actually doing this honestly, or are you, intentionally or unintentionally, distancing yourself from heterosexuality as an oppressive institution? by doing so, are you conveniently letting yourself forget about straight women’s homophobic attitudes? have you caught yourself thinking (or even saying or writing!) that straight women are much better than straight men when it comes to these matters? are you shielding yourself from accusations of homophobia by drawing attention to straight men’s homophobic actions only? is it easier to avoid analysing your own behaviour when you focus on men’s instead?

have you ever paid attention to the ways in which straight women emphasise and reaffirm their heterosexuality? have you noticed how similar many of their (your!) manners and attitudes are to the ‘no homo’ reaction you were just making fun of? (and let me tell you, if you’ve never noticed these phenomena, you haven’t been paying attention, and you obviously aren’t a very good ally.)

these are especially important questions to ask yourself if you consider yourself a feminist, since straight women’s homophobia usually targets and affects other women, especially lesbians, in particular.