Tired cop: This three-armed man was found straddling a Komodo dragon upside-down on the roof of a senior home at 2:35 in the afternoon. He had a bottle of 1874 Pinot noir taped to one arm and a snorkel lodged in his left ear, penetrating the brain. His wife says he was a professional coin collector after losing both his legs in a freak circus accident in 1965 before the birth of their quintuplets sons. There were no clues except this lightly toasted bagel, we need your help

Scully: Is THIS in any of your X-files?

Mulder: This is in all of them