- Every John green book: my name is Kirk assgun and I m not cool or popular and I'm bullied everyday because I fuck comic books and I watch this really cool show called the Big Bang theory. But it's okay because I at least have 2 other bros and 1 convenient negro friend. You see that girl over there? That's kaydence Tigerlilly Dookieson. SHe is the love of my life. She is misunderstood and like really cool indie bands like Coldplay and she's been smoking since she was 7. She's not like other girls. If only she would realize that the missing key to her life was me, a greasy white boy
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