ok i’m always afraid of being vulnerable but like ya

I’m visibly black and trans
Visibly at peace w myself and afraid of dying and full of so much mourning.
Living in a society, a world, rather that hates every single aspect of my existence but I still having the audacity to exist and speak and take up space and to love myself, where and who I came from, tenaciously. .. I know it makes people mad. I know that I’m not supposed to exist for so many reasons but I’m here. And alive and wanting to resist and fight so that future generations, someday won’t have to prove their right to be here. 

My stepping out of the gender I was assigned at birth is a form of anti racist rebellion against the white cisnormative/colonial way we’ve been brought up to assign gender to the appearance of one’s genitals.

Because I do not pass as cis, I don’t have the privilege to divorce my natural desires and inclinations towards [my concept of] femininity from the trans misogynistic violence I face irl every day .. from micro aggressions, to cat calls and impudent men who call me a tranny and who laugh at me in my face.

I don’t always feel safe with having agency over my body and going out alone. I don’t get how anyone would want to hurt me, emotionally or physically. I cant even register how violence could come from me living my life and having long nails or braids or serving sentimental goddess looks.  I live for the times I getting dolled up and realize how grateful I am that every day, I allow myself, my whole self.. whether or not that is something anyone can see.