me in ten years sipping a glass of cabernet sauvignon and stroking my blonde husband's hair while reading my old blog posts on my computerized coffee table and sitting on my humane leather couch oh marshall, look at how foolish i was as a child. it's really too embarrassing dear, don't look. whatever could i have been thinking?

marshall anderson cheveringsley-gore well dear, we were all "sjws" back then, weren't we

[BOTH LAUGH.]

me oh goodness, look at the time on our hypoallergenic floral clock. do be a dear marshall and pick up ethylene hyphasia from her traditional greek lyre lessons, it's almost time for her psychodentistry appointment and she has been so petulant lately. two is a terrible age.

marshall [straightening his hand-embroidered silk cravat] shall i pick up another carafe of calcium-fortified quinoa juice while i'm at it, darling?

me [steadily pouring the bottle of cabernet onto the white ivory floor] that would be so good of you, marshall