asker

Anonymous asked: hey can you give me some tips about flirting with other girls because i'm bad at this shit

ulibeanz:

sure! the way i flirt with girls is:

  • sweat profusely
  • avoid eye contact at all costs, cute girls work kinda like the basilisk 
  • realize half way through encounter that uve forgotten to breathe this entire time and gasp for breath so u dont die
  • give weirdly detailed compliments like “wow your eye lashes accentuate how kind you look when you smile” 
  • think a lot about how ur brains feel like spaghetti 
  • leave immediately. go home and lie on your bed for the next 7 hours groaning about how bad you are at flirting with girls

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