Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit Iโve ever read - but Iโve read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.
Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:
The design of a flying phoenix on the rim was frequently represented on vessels and tilework of this period. The motif was derived from China, most likely transmitted on prestigious silk textiles. Size: Overall: 7 x 32.6 cm (2 ¾ x 12 13/16 in.) Medium: fritware with underglaze-painted design
In high school my dad almost didnโt graduate because this teacher caught him smoking and was like I got you youโre not gonna walk the stage I finally got you and he said this teacher really had it out for him (my dad tells this story while laughing) so he told the teacher that he was gonna bomb his house and kill his dog. He didnโt get in trouble this was the 80s
Why did you Christopher Columbus my story about my dad my sweet little memory?
Airports are so different from the last time i flew a machine gargled my license and u have to take food out of your bag?? The gorgeous futuristic bathroom had a system of locks and lights that terrified and confused all the women and femmes and the paper towel dispensers spat out half an inch of towel at a time
Planes is still the same tho except for masks. U go up and its so exciting and magical and a few hours later u go down and all the liquid in ur head tries to kill u
i really want to make music but i can’t sing :( or rap
I’m beatboxing right now drop a freestyle
im on the cell phone holdin my dick bone im just tryna phone rome caesar gonna get some
they call me lil man lil dick itty bitty meat stick my vienna sausage dumb soft i cant even nut quick
these rhymes go hard though like hot piss, cold snow you aint even know my dick cant get hard tho
you viagra ass hoes poppin pills to get by while im slapping at my dick and im wondering why my dick dont work
my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work my dick dont work
