Social media is basically the world’s entire contingent of Spiderses Georg making you feel insecure about how many spiders you’re shoving into your mouth until you’re poring over YouTube videos that promise you that with just 56 products and minor surgery you too can achieve that sought after ‘spider gunk stained lips’ look.
Halfway through doing it a spider crawls into your mouth. You cronch it but the gunk messes up your makeup and you have to start again. The makeup blogger’s house is filled with Halloween spiders, and your spiders are puny and inadequate in comparison. All your friends Facebook pictures use a filter that makes it look like spiders are constantly crawling into their mouths. Your uncle tweets NECK DEEP IN CHITIN, OM NOM NOM. Dutifully, you press the like button. You always like spiders, but have never considered whether you, in fact, like them.
one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it.
i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”
What the fuck who drinks that
it’s such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him
today’s funky frog of the day is:bufo retiformis! commonly known as sonoran green toads, they are found in northern mexico and the southwestern united states. typical habitats are arid and semi-arid plains with grass, creosote bush, mesquite, and saguaro. they are nocturnal, and little is known about their behavior outside of the breeding season. they may live underground and only emerge during the wet conditions, and it is unclear whether or not they estivate. they breed from july to august, and the male’s call resembles “the buzzer on an electric alarm clock.” herpetologists assume these frogs feed on beetles, ants, moths, and winged termites, and they are expected to live for around 10 years.
