Laika to Ground Control I don’t suppose you’re coming back for me but I don’t mind, it’s nice out here. You said before I launched: there’s no way back —I’m a halfway thing, more bullet than dog out into the dark morning and forever to this black field where Great Canine winks her distant starry eye. Empty as the space that lies between two barks. Full to bursting.
Laika to Ground Control can I chase my tail? I know you want me to sit still but it’s calling me, just for a second, please. I can see our planet from here smooth like the wind washed it soft and blue, we’re going round, I’m having the time of my life you don’t have to worry but can I chase my tail? There’s nothing here for me to knock over. I miss you. But I don’t mind, in a hold silver as this any mongrel can be a heroine; any stray can make history.
Laika to Ground Control [BACKGROUND STATIC] sorry, I forgot what I was going to say, Laika to Ground Control from above Earth is alive at night, light golden as a million miniature suns, makeshift constellations. What do I look like from below? Do I glimmer like a freckle or an exit wound? I’ve been sitting still. You don’t have to worry. I miss you.
Laika to Ground Control they have summer in space, did you know? The hours walk warmer and warmer, the ceiling gleams with June moons begging for a howl. I’m lonely, moons don’t howl back. I would sit still for years if it meant I could go back to you. I miss you. I don’t mind. I miss you though.
Laika to Ground Control I miss you. If you would come out here and pet me I swear to Dog I’ll be good, never bark again, you’ll have to find me a new name. Kometka, little comet, maybe, I would crash into the sea to swim to your side. Be your satellite. You’re bigger than Earth in my eyes, I don’t need stars, only you.
Laika to Ground Control there are pinpricks of light behind my eyes. Hot like a bite. The world is fast and unbreakable, and I’m just a dog. And I miss you.
Laika to Ground Control I miss you. Have I told you that yet? Out there in the silk-black nothing they’ve long forgotten what time is. In here time crawls. In here everything shimmers, in here it’s just me. I think I’m dying. You don’t have to worry, I was nothing and you swung me from alley to orbit, from the dirt to the stars. I don’t mind. I just miss you. I miss you like the space that lies between two breaths. Full to burning.]
My work environment has become so supportive while my boss is on paternity leave 😭 i came in an hour late without realizing it and made terroristic threats against the building and my coworkers were just like yeah its like that sometimes 😭
Its soooo funny how i think I’m totally on top if my mental illnesses forever bc ive been in and out of therapy and on medication since childhood and no matter how bad i feel i can maintain basic functions like showering and eating and showing up at work. Bc every once in a while a couple of minor things gang up on me (gained 3 pounds, no one’s responding to my internship applications, a few social interactions don’t go perfectly) and well i was an hour late to work without even realizing it even though I was wearing a watch and on my phone bc i was up all night due to thoughts feelings and behaviors
