I know she’s a real person and we don’t know each other and she’s straight but i still think i could treat carly rae jepsen so right. If she would let me
>wake up in treehouse >hungover from root beer >late for my job as ice cream taster at candy mountain >stumble to cardboard box to drive to work >don’t have enough imagination to make it go >try to take my bike >get pulled over by toy soldier for having a girly bike >get sentenced to a saturday of homework and to watch baby shows like barney >thank him for his service >fired from job >go to candy store >stumble home hyper >wake up for another big day
I LOVE LIVING IN KIDWORLD, THE ONLY FUN COUNTRY ON EARTH
*goes to Coachella in a white linen suit like an antebellum lawyer, sweating profusely and dabbing at my forehead with a handkerchief* now, I’m no fancy scientist, but would you folk know where a simple gentleman such as myself could obtain some acid? Now, I’m no big city lawyer, but could any of you fine youths point a country boy such as myself in the direction of some fucking acid?
Last night I dreamt I had to catch a rare golden cockroach for scientists and then naturally we went to a sex club to celebrate where a girl sat on my face but she complained the whole time and said “it’s like you’re thinking about cockroaches or something”
