If minions were real people would hunt them illegally qnd sell their meat on the black market and people would cook and eat them and it would be considered the highest luxury to consume minion meat because of their protection under US law but also because they dont reproduce so theres theoretically a limited number of minions in the world but basically there would be a huge rise in organized crime in the US because of minion hunting and smuggling but basjcally my point is theyd cook minion meat into steaks and they would call it filet minion
i just rescued a weevil from a comically tiny shirt, stand by while i figure out how to process this experience and stop laughing myself sick
roommate called me down to grab a weird bug by the garage and it turned out to be a strawberry root weevil wrapped in a spiderweb but with perfect little arm holes for his limbs
it took me a solid half hour of extremely delicately working the fibers loose with a pair of pointed tweezers so i could pull the last of it up over his head just like a tiny shirt
no limbs or antennae were lost in the process and he’s been safely released outside but i laughed myself into a coughing fit over it so the encounter wasn’t without casualties
you know what? fuck you. *scruffs you like a cat with the back of ur shirt*
