I used to have a picture of Elijah Wood at a fair somewhere putting his face in one of those wooden scene things only is was a women’s vagina and it looked like he was being birthed and i loved it a lot but when the Russian Mob hacked our computer everything was cleaned off
sometimes i think Elijah set us up
youre welcome. this has been saved on my computer for years.
(via kimojunk)
i’m so happy i got to explore abandoned buildings today it was probably the scariest thing ive ever done cuz it was dark and the area was empty and creepy but no one got raped or murdered and we didn’t even get caught by the police so i’m very glad i had that experience uwu
my boyfriend was tripping on lsd today and the only funny text he sent me was “omg”
if we all had 18 foot long nipples we could sword fight with them but we would also need different shirts and lots of space
imagine an 18 foot nipple when it was flaccid tho. 12 feet o nipple string
Iceland
where’s the fuckin ice
in Greenland
I still believe Iceland and Greenland sat down in a meeting one day and it started with
“You know what’ll piss people off”
someone told me that the vikings came up with those names so that people emigrating from europe would go to the vastly shittier greenland and the vikings could have all those sweet iceland resources to themselves
why is he so happy
Jesus Christ he just gave birth let him have his moment
(via blessphemy)
people in relationships who complain about no one having a crush on them
Lay or Lie
ok but seriously, fuck these particular words.
Whoever made this is a godsend
(via blessphemy)
every time i wear a fandom shirt i think someone will recognise it and we’ll talk and stuff
but no
it worked for me on one particularly notable occasion
and i got friendstuck with A PINK HAIRED HUMAN who got me into TUMBLR and it was all downhill from there
AAAwwwwww this is the cutest thing thank u for owning a hero of light shirt i hope it was Worth the MOney
also i didnt know i got you into tumblr i feel like we kind of. got each other into tumblr? ine either case im very sorry uvu
(via blessphemy)
open your mouth and find a small family of lizards having a great time
fun tip: when white people say that they’re “black on the inside,” offer to eviscerate them to check