nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing
I’m sorry, have you tried pizza…?
yes and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friends eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate
i like you
(via funeral-gnome)
his eyes are wide in horror at the thought of another sweaty farty big mcdonalds patron rumpus dropping itself upon his face
he lives a constant torture
he has no mouth
but he must scream
(via onewonderfulbug)
I don’t know if it’s just because it’s pink, but I really love Joyce’s new outfit.
OH MY GOD YES
(via dumbingofage)
Why do boys try to chat you up when you’re in line for the bathroom at parties? Like I’m here to pee not meet hot singles in my area
A village in the Netherlands with no roads; the only form of transport is boat
if I lived here I would never ever ever ever be unhappy ever
Same
Just wait til you guys hear about Venice you’re going to shit yourselves
(via magicallittleponies)
The real reason you shouldn’t go to a science lab drunk is that the temptation to pull the handle on the emergency shower will be nigh overwhelming
DID EVERYONE FORGET THE CREDITS IN MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL?
(via onewonderfulbug)