Stooppppp my deaf coworker greeted me in the break room this morning and slapped her thighs and I thought she was saying she liked my skirt (I’m wearing a really cute free people skirt i got from a clothing swap) but as soon as I got home my mom was like “you didn’t wear that to work did you?? It’s so see-through” brb killing mystelf
Oh and after I CHANGED for the evening function i reapplied perfume (patchouli heavy) and the people sitting on either side of me left early with headaches I hope i get hit by a car on the way home
me getting a match on tinder: Wow i really like her style. Any red flags you notice before i text her bro
My misogynist early 1800s sailor roommate: LO, BY MY SALTE BATTERED EYE – DOTH BY THE TEMPESTAL FURIES OF THE GREATE EMPEROR NEPTUYNE AND ALL SUCHE ANCIENT LEVIATHAN AND DIVINITYIES WORSHYPPED BY THE MARINERS LOST TO THE DARK SEAS – LOST INEVITABLIE TO TIME AND TRADE. YOU ARE, *intense coughing and wheezing* YOU ARE, BOY, BUT THE WEARY ALBATROSS SWEPT BY A WEST WYNDE CONJURED BY THE FEARFULLE NYGHTE STIRRIYNGES OF THE SOFT GREY SKY, SISTER TO THE UNRULY DEPTHES. NAUGHT BUT BY THE LUCKE KNOWN NOT TO MY SUNKEN BROTHERS, KNOWN NOT THE THE COUNTLESS SOULS RESTYNG BELLOWE, MAY YOU WYSHE RETYURN TO THE COLONIYES OF YOUR KIN, BOY. THE CRYES OF A MATE, RINGIYNG FOR ETERNITIE FROME THE TRENCHES OF YOUR MIND — SYRENS!!!! *coughing and hacking up black spittle* THE CALL OF THE SYRENS TO ODYSSEUS, YOU ARE NOT TO LISTYNE – LEST YOU GROW IMPATIENT WYTHIN YOUR FAITH OF THE BITTERSWEET SEAS, BOY. FOR THE SWEETE SORROWS OF HER GRASP – THEY ARE ALWAYS TO REMAINE ESOTERICA TO THE FEMALLES OF LAND – SURRENDER YOUR LUSTE!!!!! FOR MAN IS MARRIED ONLY TO THE WINE RED SEAS
me not listening because ive been talking to my tinder match about sandwiches and car sex: Thats so real bro. When are you gonna pay me back for gorceries by the way
moth girl giggling and blushing kicking her feet in the air writing in a pretty pink journal with a cute glittery pen and when you look at the page its just a bunch of drawings of streetlamps
for the next emoji update they should add an ouroboros
“how many time in a day do you need to express the never-ending cycle of creation and destruction, birth and death, the cosmos without beginning or end?” more than you might think
Stooppppp my deaf coworker greeted me in the break room this morning and slapped her thighs and I thought she was saying she liked my skirt (I’m wearing a really cute free people skirt i got from a clothing swap) but as soon as I got home my mom was like “you didn’t wear that to work did you?? It’s so see-through” brb killing mystelf
Oh they’re notching her tail. See the little bit taken out? That tells whoever catches her next to let her go– it’s a sort of “hey, this is a reproductive female; let’s keep the cycle going by putting her right back in the water” signal. The bit will grow back in 2-3 shed cycles, which takes a couple years.
They know she’s able to reproduce bc she was caught with eggs.
The abrupt way he slams the fish into her claw is so funny though like take your fucking lunch and get the fuck out of here. Ma'am.
Imagine being grabbed by eldritch giants and they give you lunch and send you back home
Imagine they shove a whole fucking cow in your arms and throw you back to the Earth
It’s better than that, even. First they give you a tramp stamp that says, “Too fuckable to kill” and THEN they slam a dead cow into your arms and throw you back to Earth.
If i were a character in a horror movie i would die early on bc I’m a skeptic who’s not afraid of ghosts or demons or whatever. But since I’m a real person from real life and ghosts and demons etc aren’t real i am gonna live forever
