dont let a girl tell you “its not a race” during stroking. because it is. race to get the nut? won it. who got their pants on first? me. numero uno skrrrrting out the driveway? me. while shes back there in bed texting her friends about my weak dick im already making the next maneuvers. premature ejaculation is a social construct you tortoise bitch
(via meladoodle)
The vet said she didn’t think Periwinkle had conjunctivitis and she just got something stuck in her eye but she gave me eye drops anyway AAAANNDDDDD she said periwinkle was the best behaved hamster she’d ever seen so I’m :DDD
im rly glad i don’t have the power to set people on fire with my mind because I would definitely overuse that ability
I’d like to track down all the people in my psych lecture who giggled during the video of a schizophrenic guy so I can strangle them personally
I just opened up my notes to edit my grocery list and this note was right there at the top I have no idea where it came from I’m so scared who is Eric
bonus hypersaturated version because it doesn’t look too bad.
just remember to wear protective eyewear and don’t stare for too long to avoid any lasting damage.
(via magicallittleponies)
i think periwinkle has pink eye she seems totally fine with it but i’m fucking destroyed the petsmart clinic where i got her “doesn’t do pocket pets” so now im, tryna find anoter place but its hard because I don’t have a car and not everywhere ttakes amsters, goodbye
ahhhhhhhhh ok i got her an appointment on thursday, which i’ll have to skip class for, oh well
i think periwinkle has pink eye she seems totally fine with it but i’m fucking destroyed the petsmart clinic where i got her “doesn’t do pocket pets” so now im, tryna find anoter place but its hard because I don’t have a car and not everywhere ttakes amsters, goodbye
