I think every phone should have a text alert unique to its master, like a penguin chick to its mother, so that we never need suffer the pain of hearing someone’s phone buzz and it not being for us
Gryffindor: I’m a fucking hero.
Slytherin: I’m fucking badass.
Ravenclaw: I’m smart as fuck.
Hufflepuff: My dorm is near the kitchen.
hufflepuff sounds like tumblr
You win this round, Hufflepuff.
(via funeral-gnome)
How many improvements? So many
I was thinking, if I improved my style then would you guys buy like 1-3 pound commissions?
(via mavdpie-remade)
terms for penis you should not use in fics:
- love stick
- doinker
- schlong
- wankie
- ding dong
- 100% all-beef thermometer
- bologna pony
- stinky pickle
- magic wand
- divine rod
- love muscle
- power drill
- captain winky
- yogurt slinger
- DNA rifle
are you kidding im going to use all of these
Throbbing lavender manfruit
that’s a new one
Nika u break my heart that one is from forbiden fruit the tempation of Edward Cullen
(via witchydarling)
if 2chainz became the next reincarnation of the doctor in doctor who id probably watch a few episodes
(via iwilleatyourenglish)
terms for penis you should not use in fics:
- love stick
- doinker
- schlong
- wankie
- ding dong
- 100% all-beef thermometer
- bologna pony
- stinky pickle
- magic wand
- divine rod
- love muscle
- power drill
- captain winky
- yogurt slinger
- DNA rifle
are you kidding im going to use all of these
Throbbing lavender manfruit
(via vulpinecyanide)
(via g1mlp)
We blindfolded 15 homophobes and asked them to hit piñatas with a stick. The piñatas were actually deadly Asian giant hornet nests. What happens next will warm your heart.
Rocks,
These are my rocks.
Sediments,
Make me sentimental…
I love rock pony and her rock poetry.
(via mavdpie-remade)
The Clarence pilot
I really want Clarence to have the same support from Tumblr that Steven Universe got. There’s something strangely sad about this show and this is the closest I’ve ever seen a cartoon be to the kind of show I would make (I recently had to change a character design because it looked so much like Clarence).
Support itttt!
i firmly believe this earth is the center of the universe, the sun and the moon are alive and they’re mad at me
(via honted)
skills include: passive-aggressively waiting for someone to text me