a simplified guide to sexualities
- homosexual: sexually attracted to homer simpson
- pansexual: gets off to various kitchen utensils
- asexual: gets turned on by the first letter of the latin alphabet
- demisexual: sexually attracted to you if and only if your blood is half divine
- bisexual: can only have sex with two people ever. choose wisely
- heterosexual: can only be satisfied by macklemore
*logs in to the dark net*
so i was tending to my garden and watering everything and making sure everything was ok when i suddenly spotted ONE OF MY LILIES HAD BEEN NIBBLED
but after some thorough investigation i have found…….. THE TEENY TINY CULPRIT
i’m letting this youngster off with a warning because it’s too cute to be mad at, learn from this you teeny tiny plant nibbler
(via crystalgardian)
i like that we say “oh, man” to express disappointment
because men are disappointing
how did I manage to get this bottle cap down my shirt
it just landed there
like magic
why is this my life
Classic
