- me: how do i look?
- you: like a million bugs
- me: thank you
- me: wait. don't you mean bucks
- you: no
- me: nice nice
Prairie Chicken Portrait (by Jeff Dyck)
do you ever just sit and think about how utterly beautiful and absurd dinosaurs must have looked
(via roachpatrol)
- me: *staring out car window*
- dragon mascot for used car dealership painted on window: *breathes fire that spells "HOT DEAL"*
- me: a-are you propositioning me?
- me: cuz im not interested but i know people who are
Dawn has finally come
A beautiful torsun is rising
Editor’s note: You should always keep your promises to sky torsos. The sky torsos’ wrath is swift and terrible.
I really like u but you are an ocean and I’m just a more impressive ocean with cooler and stronger sharks
(via 061119920735)
all that’s happening is that beauty companies have realized that “progressive” and “empowering” advertisements garner more publicity and create more brand loyalty than the old-fashioned “you’re ugly if you don’t buy our product” advertising. it has nothing to do with ethical capitalism or social trends. the beauty industry is just trying to make money.
(via iwilleatyourenglish)
- Over-explanation. This includes prologues. “Prologues are never needed. You can usually throw them in the garbage. They’re usually put on as a patch.”
- Too much data. “You’re trying to seduce your reader, not burden them,” Friedman said.
- Over-writing, or “trying too hard.” “We think the more description we add, the more vivid it will be; but we don’t want to be distracted from the story” we open the book for.
- Beginning the novel with an interior monologue or reflection. Usually this is written as the thoughts of a character who is sitting alone, musing and thinking back on a story. Just start with the story.
- Beginning the novel with a flashback. Friedman isn’t entirely anti-flashback, but the novel’s opening page is the wrong place for one.
- Beginning a novel with the “waking up sequence” of a character waking, getting out of bed, putting on slippers, heading for the kitchen and coffee…a cliche
- Related cliche: beginning the novel with an alarm clock or a ringing phone
- Starting out with an “ordinary day’s routine” for the main character
- Beginning with “crisis moments” that aren’t unique: “When the doctor said ‘malignant,’ my life changed forever…” or “The day my father left us I was seven years old…”
- Don’t start with a dialogue that doesn’t have any context. Building characterization through dialogue is okay anywhere else but there.
- Starting with backstory, or “going back, then going forward.”
- Info dump. More formally called “exposition.”
- Character dump, which is four or more characters on the first page.
This is like the Story Beginnings Bible.
okay… but i freakin love prologues
I like how they put “too much info” on there 4 times. On a related note, my #1 fave opening line of all time:
“Where’s Papa going with that axe?” said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.
(via blessphemy)
still think molly and i should crash otakon this year
Why I hear about this on TYMBLR, also did autocorrect just change tumblr to TYMBLR, also I’m totally down
#let’s make fun of the webs while simultaneously being giant wrens
autocorrect is struggling for you tonight isn’t it
I meant exactly what I said
(via witchydarling)