blessphemy:

im so fresh you can suck my guts

blessphemy:

There was a day

blessphemy:

I recently saw a video of myself fresh out of the womb because apparently they let my father loiter around, videotaping and getting in the way

and he was saying all this shit like

“It’s so red”

“Why is it so loud”

“Wow it doesn’t like the bath”

blessphemy:

There’s a pamphlet by the mini fridge that says “hypnobirthing” and it unsettles me every time

blessphemy:

the ideal first date: bookstore, followed by cigarette butt throwing competition in back alley 

iamprincessash:
“ I don’t even care how this happened
”

iamprincessash:

I don’t even care how this happened

(via funeral-gnome)

(via kroove)

punk-puke:
“punk-puke:
“ Casual uni looks/I missed my tram because I spent too long on my hair
”
i got some fanmail asking me about lipstick (i think it was this one) but tbh i dont know what brand it is someone gave it to me it stays on forever and...

punk-puke:

punk-puke:

Casual uni looks/I missed my tram because I spent too long on my hair

i got some fanmail asking me about lipstick (i think it was this one) but tbh i dont know what brand it is someone gave it to me it stays on forever and u have to like scrub it off your lips not fun but usually i just buy the cheapest kmart makeup dont ask me about brands i dont know what im doing

(via punk-puke)

(via kroove)

(via kroove)

list of men who have been jerked off by their butlers