The real reason you shouldn’t go to a science lab drunk is that the temptation to pull the handle on the emergency shower will be nigh overwhelming
(via blessphemy)
you might have good grades, a summer internship, a normal sleep schedule, or a healthy romantic relationship but i just rolled over in bed and pulled a mashed potato-pizza sandwich out of my backpack so really who is winning here
(via blessphemy)
You’re like a walking swoonpole… Swooning hotspot… You have a swoon radius
this bandaid wrapper looked like money for a second and I got really excited. My life is full of disappointments
but I think despite everything it’s still good to be alive, don’t you?
- tumblr user jeezypetes
The ol rrrrrrrazzle dazzle
The longer I watch, the funnier it gets
(via blessphemy)
“now the test is how many free cones I can get… too bad I shaved already”
Now he’s on a page called “infrastructure porn” there are lots of pictures of bridges
Now he’s browsing a tumblr page dedicated exclusively to complaining about a specific gym in DC
One of his tabs says “Sorcery,” another says “Neptune.”
(via blessphemy)
sarah why did u tag me in this
(via blessphemy)
can’t decide if I want to be shot into space if I die or chucked into an ocean with a bricks tied to my ankles both options strike me as rather similar
I want my friends and family to hold a big dinner party and afterwards everyone will discover that it was really My Flesh that they were eating and that’s how ill punish meat eaters from the afterlife
For the record I would gravely appreciate and savor every bite of Your Flesh
(via blessphemy)
My mom got mad at me because I said I would sell my pinky toe for $10,000 she was like that’s not nearly enough
(via blessphemy)
Talkin funerals w blessphemy pt 2
THIS IS TOP SECRET INGORMATION
(via blessphemy)
I’m against gay marriage because today on my way home from work there was a same sex couple and their small children taking up the whole escalator so I couldn’t walk past
(via blessphemy)