I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17ā³)Ā Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I donāt think thatās a good idea
FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES!Ā
and now I found theĀ ārealistic torture/execution devices for dollsā section.Ā
aliexpress is seriously the best place to look at sex toys because they canāt show nudity so they have to finding other ways to show off the use of the toys.
This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious.Ā
thatās not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I canāt really remember what I was searching forĀ
oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!
one of my favorite things is when they decide to give you the whole hard sell.
instead of just being likeĀ āhey this is a good sex toyā, they instead try to explain why youād even need a sex toy, from first principles. and that principle is usuallyĀ āyour boyfriend/husband sucksā. or doesnāt, I guess.Ā
they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism
so the sound of this sex toy is between a flower and a clock!Ā
wait, a flower? doā¦ do flowers make sounds?Ā
Iāve posted about the Hammer Sex Toy before, but it turns out itās not alone. Thereās alsoā¦Ā
THE WRENCH!Ā
now that is a fucking slogan
one of my favorite things is that when theyāre showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and theyāre ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES.Ā
sex toy or vulcan starship?Ā
OH MEHR SPIELMĆGLICHKEITEN!Ā
this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, thereās other parents.
Born in 1943, Illuitok was an Inuit master sculptor from Kugaaruk. She created detailed, delicate ivory/bone carvings that mostly represented hunting or nature scenes. Illuitok often worked with found materials that she then shaped into works of art. She passed away in 2012.
The above work shows birds nesting and is made of whale bone and ivory. Notice the little detail on the bottom right of a polar bear hunting some seals.
oh btw the lobster at the aquarium in the salt lake city area is literally just from a supermarket. like literally he was just a normie lobster (if very large) going to be sold to someone to get eaten and some aquarium staff member or executive was like We’ll Take Him!! and now he hangs out in his little cave in his tank next to a sign showing his biology facts. i think this is the crustacean equivalent to all those stories about models who got discovered shopping at some random suburban mall in the 80s. he is living the american dream
