gambling with angels is easy. they can’t lie but they have addictive personalities; it’s easy to clean them out then make them divulge secrets about the business of heaven to call your bets. my dad used to say “hey, watch this” and summon angels to play poker with him with a sort of bone flute he inherited from his grandpa, and they’d be holding horseshit and still want to call him. i’m talking “raise on a two pair” level bad at it, but they couldn’t stop trying to win. my dad taught me all the secret names of God before i was out of grade school and i would use them to curse my enemies so they came down with leprosy. you can cure leprosy these days but it still sucks, especially for a child. but they had it coming for pissing me off
Wool sock washing day yesterday, wool sock mending day today. Some of these are getting pretty worn… i’ve been considering retiring a few pairs and cutting them open to sew into a project bag, maybe.
my parents named me “street meats” on account of they found me running a sous vide pork stand downtown when i was an infant. I was known as “the wettest hands in the west” because of my no utensils technique. I’d cook those bad boys for 35 hours straight until all there was left was a thin transparent membrane. People would line up for miles to even get a whiff of my meats, i lived as a king for 10 golden years until i got my liquor license revoked for serving “the blindsider” which was made of isopropyl alcohol, malört, and zippo lighter fluid. Retirement isnt too bad though i get to just kick back and let my hands soak in a nice warm bucket of the meat water i got left and every so often someone will notice me on the street and drop a subtle “whats sloppin’?” its a simple life but its my life and i wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I hate uquizzes that are like “pick a character/quote/whatever”. Like pick them based on what? Whichever i like the most? Whichever i think is the most like me? A lot of the time i just pick whichever thing I’m most familiar with. And then i get to the end and its like “You are a booboofool. Lot’s of people like you, but most of them also feel sorry for you. You have strong opinions about Attack on Titan and you probably live in a mangrove swamp.” And I’m like that’s simply not true and the analysis you used to reach this conclusion was deeply flawed
