My house is soooo cold i was starting to make something to eat for lunch but i got too cold it overcame even my extreme hunger….I retreat to the blankets on the couch
- 5 year old: santa is real i just saw him
- me, an intellectual: [chortles softly]
me: *googles how to mash potatoes*
some food blogger: My childhood home was full of wind and light. On a brisk Autumn evening, it often felt as if the outside was in. My younger sister, my mother, our favourite cousin, our dog, our other dog, our dog’s sister, and I would sit on the floor in the living room for hours, lit only by the moon and candlelight
me: *scrolls for several minutes*
some food blogger: It was at that moment, with my tiny hands clasped tightly around a mason jar filled with fireflies, that I realised the true value of family. My dog and my dog’s sister came and sat quietly at my feet. We stared up at the sky together, and I felt truly connected to both the Earth at my feet and the ancestors who shared the blood that ran through them, for the first time realising that
me: *scrolls for several minutes*
some food blogger: and when we finally made it home, our cheeks flushed with laughter and cold, there were warm mashed potatoes waiting for us. I will always remember their fluffiness, perfectly mirroring the light feeling I carried with me for the entire next week. This is my favourite cousin’s recipe from that very day, modified slightly to not be fucking awful. Boil an potato and smush it up with fork and botter. NOT A RAW, Salt, pepepr. In it
(via exidhotpinktipsylive)
hey just a quick question why does tumblr recommend this post to me every day
(via timeforcereal)
Anonymous asked: If you knew who I was you probably wouldn't make me pay $200 to see you in tights :(
Nora…martin luther king jr wants to see u in tights and ur charging him $200? After all he’s done for this country
The Signs as Popular Memes from 2017
- Aries: cranberry man
- Taurus: dril's failed sitcom pilot
- Gemini: LOOK AT THAT HORSE
- Cancer: sit ubu sit
- Leo: Unova confirmed
- Virgo: Grunkle Stan's final form
- Libra: out of context panels from Goblin Squad
- Scorpio: gimme da pizza!!
- Sagittarius: motion blur dick
- Capricorn: WHY DID YOU DO THIS TUMBLR
- Aquarius: Benedict Cumberbatch's baby's name
- Pisces: anus village
tired of hearing about how saturn is the most fuckable planet just because it has the most rings. jupiter is clearly the most fuckable planet, and trust me, i’ve already heard your “oh the great red spot is an std” jokes, and i don’t care. and btw, the logistics of fucking the rings of a planet don’t make any sense. have fun trying to put your dick through a bunch of jagged rocks and ice, you piece of shit
this is like one of the best posts i’ve seen on tumblr and let me tell you why
- “tired of hearing about” posts that then go on to delineate something i have literally never heard anyone talking about are hilarious
- the idea of trying to rank the planets as fuckable is absurd
- huffy “i don’t care”
- nitpicking the logistics of something impossible
- horrible mental image
- ends very angrily
(via timeforcereal)
gratuitous pajama shoot. <3 my new lens
jammies source - would recommend for fellow snoots
been lookin for good jimjams
(via dogjpeg)
