- me after 15 seconds of work: i just cant do this anymore
How To Get A Job Fast As Hell
- Apply to a job, wait (1) day, then call. Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application.
- When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly, tell them your first and last name.
- Describe your experiences as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years] costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.
- Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.” “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”
- When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now).
- Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.
- When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy.
- If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)
Questions for after the interview:
1. Does this position offer upward mobility?
2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)
- Then, shake their hand, Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it.
- AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices.
- DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone. In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate.
__________
The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com and Simplyhired.
Data Entry:
- http://citystaffing.com/job/data-entry-specialistsmailroom-clerk/?utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed
- https://www.roberthalf.com/officeteam/job-search/chicago-il/data-entry-clerks-needed/43517752?codes=IND
- http://www.simplyhired.com/job/data-entry-specialists-job/chicago-transit-authority/jepfivkhjk?cid=udsowkxtausyzitcfeecaeuzoxkltmbl
- https://jobs-theprivatebank.icims.com/jobs/3435/temporary—data-entry/job?mode=job&iis=SimplyHired&iisn=SimplyHired&utm_source=simplyhired&utm_medium=jobclick&mobile=false&width=792&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300
Front Desk:
- http://localjobs.joblur.com/jobapplication2/?jobid=99957&subaffid=300006&JobType=Food%20/%20Bev%20/%20Hosp&ix=1&c1=99957
- https://jobs.ajg.com/job/-/-/109/1256110?apstr=%26src%3DJB-10280
- https://pepper.hiretouch.com/job-search/job-details?jobID=32066&job=receptionist
- http://accesscommunityhealth.hodesiq.com/jobs/default.aspx?JobID=5203566 (this one is close to the place you rented.)
- http://ihg.taleo.net/careersection/all/jobdetail.ftl?job=R113601&lang=en&media_id=24863&src=Indeed&src=JB-10920
- https://covalentcareers.com/employer/listing/86450f8517588197c9b04f5068ed4300/detail/?apply=1&ref=indeed&v=30&utm_source=indeed&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=indeed_optical
- http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobseeker/jobs/jobdetails.aspx?APath=2.21.0.0.0&job_did=JHN0KY6823WBWZX21VM&showNewJDP=yes&IPath=JRKV0F
- http://www.simplyhired.com/job/front-desk-receptionist-customer-service-sales-job/rosin-optical-co-inc/qaeoquzgdi?cid=ivdnhijkmxchdanahwfoupazcwisfnxt
- http://www.simplyhired.com/job/receptionist-front-desk-job/all-us-jobs/fonj7wmldf?cid=trhyvmfcsgjltxkjxkemyinsjveewfjp
Other jobs you don’t need a degree for that aren’t retail:
- Dental hygenist ( yeah, seriously, who knew!) They also make about 40,000 a year)
- Stenographer-Court Reporter
- Surveyer ( you need a certificate for this, but its something you can get while working a temporary job and doing this on the side. Also, they make like $55,000 a year sooooooo) https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWEbHost/jobdetails.aspx?jobId=1406428&PartnerId=16023&SiteId=5118&codes=IND
- Real Estate Broker
- Purchasing agents, except wholesale, retail, and farm products ( basically you arrange to buy large things) they make like 60K
- Claims adjuster
- Loan Officer
- Subway driver (trains) they make like 60K,
- Duct Cleaner: http://jobview.monster.com/Duct-Cleaners-950-00-Weekly-Entry-Level-Flexible-Hours-Call-to-Apply-Job-Chicago-IL-US-161970321.aspx?intcid=re
I knew this but I’m reblogging cause someone might not know
I’m saving this.
(via werewolve)
Let’s pretend, for a moment, that you are a 22-year-old college student in Kampala, Uganda. You’re sitting in class and discreetly scrolling through Facebook on your phone. You see that there has been another mass shooting in America, this time in a place called San Bernardino. You’ve never heard of it. You’ve never been to America. But you’ve certainly heard a lot about gun violence in the U.S. It seems like a new mass shooting happens every week.
You wonder if you could go there and get stricter gun legislation passed. You’d be a hero to the American people, a problem-solver, a lifesaver. How hard could it be? Maybe there’s a fellowship for high-minded people like you to go to America after college and train as social entrepreneurs. You could start the nonprofit organization that ends mass shootings, maybe even win a humanitarian award by the time you are 30.
Sound hopelessly naïve? Maybe even a little deluded? It is. And yet, it’s not much different from how too many Americans think about social change in the “Global South.”
If you asked a 22-year-old American about gun control in this country, she would probably tell you that it’s a lot more complicated than taking some workshops on social entrepreneurship and starting a non-profit. She might tell her counterpart from Kampala about the intractable nature of our legislative branch, the long history of gun culture in this country and its passionate defenders, the complexity of mental illness and its treatment. She would perhaps mention the added complication of agitating for change as an outsider.
But if you ask that same 22-year-old American about some of the most pressing problems in a place like Uganda — rural hunger or girl’s secondary education or homophobia — she might see them as solvable. Maybe even easily solvable.
I’ve begun to think about this trend as the reductive seduction of other people’s problems. It’s not malicious. In many ways, it’s psychologically defensible; we don’t know what we don’t know.
If you’re young, privileged, and interested in creating a life of meaning, of course you’d be attracted to solving problems that seem urgent and readily solvable. Of course you’d want to apply for prestigious fellowships that mark you as an ambitious altruist among your peers. Of course you’d want to fly on planes to exotic locations with, importantly, exotic problems.
There is a whole “industry” set up to nurture these desires and delusions — most notably, the 1.5 million nonprofit organizations registered in the U.S., many of them focused on helping people abroad. In other words, the young American ego doesn’t appear in a vacuum. Its hubris is encouraged through job and internship opportunities, conferences galore, and cultural propaganda — encompassed so fully in the patronizing, dangerously simple phrase “save the world.” —
You wonder if you could go there and get stricter gun legislation passed. You’d be a hero to the American people, a problem-solver, a lifesaver. How hard could it be? Maybe there’s a fellowship for high-minded people like you to go to America after college and train as social entrepreneurs. You could start the nonprofit organization that ends mass shootings, maybe even win a humanitarian award by the time you are 30.
Sound hopelessly naïve? Maybe even a little deluded? It is. And yet, it’s not much different from how too many Americans think about social change in the “Global South.”
If you asked a 22-year-old American about gun control in this country, she would probably tell you that it’s a lot more complicated than taking some workshops on social entrepreneurship and starting a non-profit. She might tell her counterpart from Kampala about the intractable nature of our legislative branch, the long history of gun culture in this country and its passionate defenders, the complexity of mental illness and its treatment. She would perhaps mention the added complication of agitating for change as an outsider.
But if you ask that same 22-year-old American about some of the most pressing problems in a place like Uganda — rural hunger or girl’s secondary education or homophobia — she might see them as solvable. Maybe even easily solvable.
I’ve begun to think about this trend as the reductive seduction of other people’s problems. It’s not malicious. In many ways, it’s psychologically defensible; we don’t know what we don’t know.
If you’re young, privileged, and interested in creating a life of meaning, of course you’d be attracted to solving problems that seem urgent and readily solvable. Of course you’d want to apply for prestigious fellowships that mark you as an ambitious altruist among your peers. Of course you’d want to fly on planes to exotic locations with, importantly, exotic problems.
There is a whole “industry” set up to nurture these desires and delusions — most notably, the 1.5 million nonprofit organizations registered in the U.S., many of them focused on helping people abroad. In other words, the young American ego doesn’t appear in a vacuum. Its hubris is encouraged through job and internship opportunities, conferences galore, and cultural propaganda — encompassed so fully in the patronizing, dangerously simple phrase “save the world.” —
“The Reductive Seduction of Other People’s Problems” by Courtney Martin
(via
)
Capitalism can’t save the world, but it can simulate the experience and sell it to you.
(via newwavenova)
This is a good article and you should read it, but I’m kinda in love with the idea of well meaning Africans deciding to Save The Americans…. not least because the thought has increasingly crossed my own mind in recent years
(via mogatrat)
(via crossface)
A map of every squirrel-induced power outage in the United States in 2015.
Interactive mapof squirrel attacks on electricity.
(via anarcha-princess)
Coriander Cats: Bengali Girls in the Wild
THE PHOTO SERIES#CORIANDERCATS
Like & Reblog
(via whoopsrobots)