Tag urself
- He was grown in a test tube.
- He can speak 30 languages, 3 of which are only spoken by wrestlers.
- He does not know there is a world outside of the WWE.
- There are hundreds of earlier versions of him frozen in an underground lab.
- He has troubling dreams about a vast blue emptiness above him that he doesn’t understand.
- Even though he is the perfect genetically engineered wrestler, a lone scientist secretly worked to make an improved version of him.
- His twin brother Dark John Cena is real and he is dangerous.
- Dark John Cena is full of rage and vengeance against the WWE and humanity as a whole for his creation and imprisonment.
- John Cena is the only thing powerful enough to face his brother. The clash between these two will decide the fate of the world.
- He wasnt really a US Marine.
(via newlists)
a gay person, laughing and having a fun time on the internet: luke skywalker is gay
a straight person, crying in agony: no…. that’s impossible….More accurate:
A tumblr-gay*: Luke skywalker is an autistic pansexual trans man! It’s totally canon!
Any normal person: ummm there’s not really any evidence to that? He has a wife and kids. So, no, I don’t really agree with that.
Tumblr community: STOP OPPRESSING US! EVERYONE HAS TO BE GAY AND FAT AND MENTALLY ILL OR WE ARE BEING LITERALLY KILLED! LUKE SKYWALKER IS A TRANSMYSOGYNIST, ABLEIST SLUR AND WE WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS!
Conservatives: GAY PEOPLE ARE AN ABOMINATION! ONLY PEOPLE WHO MAKE 300,000 DOLLARS A YEAR SHOULD HAVE HEALTHCARE!
Liberals: Okay… Guys… I know the refugees in Cologne are sexually assaulting women… But it’s not their fault! And you can’t say anything to them because that’s their culture! But look at how mysogynistic the conservatives are! (Don’t argue, please. It’s triggering)
Meanwhile, the world has actual problems bigger than the game of oppression bingo going on here.
*translation: a genderqueer Demiboy gray ace lesbian who is sexually attracted to people’s names who start with the letter Q
a gay person laughing and having a fun time on the internet: luke skywalker is gay
this person: has a complete breakdown
guess who just got back today
who did this just wondering i love the use of ellipses
the clunk wrote this
(via iguanamouth)
