tbh i don’t cringe at my past self i was a loud, vindictive, competitive monster and i own up to it 100% also that’s still me peace out nerds
oh my god
delete the rest of the internet and leave only this video
This is a must-read. These conditions are atrocious.
(via overblush)
concept
mr brightside but with all the pronouns replaced by “i” “me” “my” etc
now I’m falling asleep and I’m calling a cab while I’m having a smoke and I’m taking a drag
now I’m going to bed and my stomach is sick and it’s all in my head
but I’m touching my chest now, I take off my dress now
(via werewolve)
new yorker cartoons are, as a rule, stupendously unfunny. but i love this particular new yorker cartoon. i love it. i LOVE it.
(via werewolve)
Know that thing where you can supposedly repeat a statement aloud to make it true? How much time is it supposed to take to work? ‘Cause I chant “women’s clothing incorporates functional pockets” for 10 minutes every morning, and it’s been months now.
- 2nd century BC Pictish/Caledonian Louis CK: kids today don't even know that we didn't always have bronze dirks. i hear kids whining about their bronze dirks not holding an edge. [bellowing] you want to drive a fucking flint dirk into the throat of your enemy? [baby voice] oh my bronze dirk got a dent in it. it's slightly less sharp now [bellowing] really? how would you like it when your dirk flakes into a thousand tiny flint shards upon striking the shield of your enemy? you little piece of shit? [baby voice] *random mewling noises* [bellowing again] fuck you! your parents didn't raise you correctly. [philosophical, exasperated] everything is amazing, and nobody's happy
old-friends-senior-dog-sanctuary:
Leo, meet Leona! A match made in heaven!
Im so happy for them
- Q: What do you think is the best way to get children engaged with language and reading generally?
- Daniel Handler: When I was young, my parents would read me a book and stop at a suspenseful moment, tuck me into bed with the book and a nearby flashlight, and tell me that under no circumstances could I stay up any later to read. The next day they would ignore the fact that the bookmark had moved.
