“On camera, I once said, ‘This pizza looks like a manhole cover in Flavortown.’ Willy Wonka had a chocolate stream, you know? So it’s taking these iconic food items, these iconic food moments, and giving them a home. They all live in Flavortown. It’s like one of those things in The Matrix: You can only get down with Flavortown if you believe in Flavortown. I have people walk up to me and say, ‘Hey, I’m a citizen of Flavortown.’ I have people that want to pledge to be a city council member of Flavortown or the mechanic. It doesn’t stop. What would be the airline of Flavortown? Sausage Airlines? It just doesn’t stop. I just said it, and then people heard it. Of course, there’s no Flavortown—unless you believe in it.” – Guy Fieri (Vice, “Munchies”)
if you don’t like hairless cats you’re a fake cat fan. they’re the truth of a cat, the heart and soul of what a cat really is beyond all the superficial bullshit (fur), what every cat really is on the inside (under the fur), and if you don’t love them for who they are you don’t love any cat. fuck oyu
The Xbox One has a super sensitive on button, so just barely brushing it turns it on. Lately, it’s been “turning on by itself,” which means one of my pets has been messing with it. But which one?
Suspect #1:
Name: Calcifer Age: 1 and ½ Occupation: Professional Gatekeeper Hobbies: Meowing to leave the bedroom when the door is closed, then meowing to get back in exactly 30 seconds later; sticking his paw in my food when I’m not pay attention; ignoring the toys we buy him and playing with dish towels instead; Napping. Motivation: None. He generally stays in his lane and behaves well.
Suspect #2:
Name: Oliver Age: 1 Occupation: Professional Attention Seeker Hobbies:
Laying on my chest while I play video games and demanding attention; eating Greek yogurt; playing with cotton balls; hiding in boxes. Motivation: Likes to hide near the game consoles because they get warm.
Suspect #3:
Name: Banjo Age: 8 Months Occupation: Professional Butt Hobbies: Eating cat poo when no one is paying attention; eating underwear; being a Good Boy™
when treats are involved; being a sinvergüenza; giving lots of love to everyone he meets. Motivation: Likes to stick his nose in places where it doesn’t belong.
Deductions: The Xbox One on button has drool marks all over it, very reminiscent of a certain puppers’ antics…
Conclusion: Banjo has been licking the on button on the Xbox One because he likes the sound it makes when it turns on. BOOK HIM, BOYS!
